Thursday, April 07, 2005

Grapefruits Can't Sing

There is a fruit church where all the fruits in the neighborhood go every Sunday. A few are religious, but most go just to meet other fruits.

The fruit church has a fruit choir. The singers aren't that great, but no one notices. Everyone is just there to have a good time. The little strawberries are the sopranos, and the enormous watermelons sing bass.

Some grapefruits wanted to sing in the choir. At first the choir director turned them away. "You are all so bitter that you cannot possibly be fruits," she said.

But then the choir director realized that they were in fact fruits. She apologized and welcomed them. A banana reached over and gave them copies of practice sheet music. They were not sure whether their voices would be considered low or high, so they sat in the middle of the choir.

When the starfruit at the piano began to play, the fruits began to sing. The grapefruits sang more loudly than any other fruit, because they were proud. But they were absolutely tone-deaf.

The choir director interrupted the song and instructed the grapefruits to sing a little more softly and sweetly, as if they were angels (hah!). Then she began the song again. The grapefruits were embarrassed and sang more softly.

At the end of the song, the choir director congratulated the poor bitter grapefruits for learning to control their voices. They were happy and rolled around.


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