Flat Objects, and Flattening Your Stomach

The flatness of all the objects around me is overwhelming. Yet I still find that I have a compulsion to flatten grapefruit.

Everywhere I go, I see flat things. For instance, how about: flatbread, coins, flat irons, flat stomachs. Well, I don't see very many flat stomachs, because that part of the body tends to be private. I see a few on television, but I tend to avoid shows that feature stomachs.

Which reminds me that one of the best ways to get a flat stomach is to go on a grapefruit diet. Eat nothing but grapefruit for every meal, and your stomach is sure to flatten. Eat nothing but flat grapefruit, and your stomach will flatten even more. I can't guarantee that any of this will work because I haven't tried it, but it seems to be common sense.

Consult your physician before embarking on any program of diet or exercise.